I'm an advocate for gay marriage. I have more gay friends than Carter has pills.

I'm a very stereotypical person... and that's part of my flavor, I guess, because I tell it like it is.

Think back to yourself at age 18. I know I was mighty different than the Patti I am today. As we grow up, we grow out of our haircuts, our apartments and - often times - our romantic decisions.

I'm on the Sensa diet. It's a little magic powder based on Dr. Hirsh's clinical trials and studies and it basically signals the brain that you're full through smellology.

In the end, it's all about taking your time and enjoying the journey without worrying too much about the destination.

I was single for a really long time, then I realized I had abandonment issues. Then I found love online.

For the women in California, they're just downtrodden because they're so gorgeous here. Every hot cheerleader comes to California to make it. The men don't want to get married, they're lazy lions. Matthew McConaughey is their poster boy so they can procreate and live on the beach in the trailer and have kids and have money and be hedonistic.