Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.

In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.

Nowadays - and I don't want to make some dopey cultural statement here - everyone can be, just by existing in society, because we all have a ship that we follow. Even if it's other people, like on MySpace pages, we're just as collective of enthusiasts now. That seems to be the world we're in.

You know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad; they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist.

There's something kind of beautiful about that pure love of things. Like, "I'll show that I love the thing I love by hating everything else."

I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form.