Politics is show business for ugly people.

North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms has signed a deal with Random House to write his memoirs. Scholars will no doubt benefit from the reflections of a man who was wrong on every major issue for 40 years. Helms' aides say the proceeds from the book will be donated to the non-profit Jesse Helms Center where they apparently have more experience burning than publishing them.

I think too many Democrats are too wimpy. But I think they're beginning to toughen up.

I'm very sunny. You know, I'm always optimistic.

Rick Perry is the perfect candidate for those who thought George W. Bush was just too dang cerebral. And Adios, Mofo is the perfect guide to his record, his rhetoric and his remarkable hair. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll vote.

When your mission is to restore honor and integrity to the White House, you've got to be willing to use any means necessary.

It must kill George Bush that John McCain is the most popular and Beloved Republican in America.