I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'

I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.

Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.

I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.