What could be better than to hold your hand out to people less fortunate than you are?

I have vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.

You can't stop being a citizen just because you have a Screen Actors' Guild card.

You got to have two things to win. You got to have brains and you got to have balls. Now you've got too much of one and not enough of the other.

You can't be as old as I am without waking up with a surprised look on your face every morning.

For those of you who like to scarf your popcorn in the sack, the good news is that Newman's Own contains an aphrodisiac.

I picture my epitaph: 'Here lies Paul Newman, who died a failure because his eyes turned brown.