The spaghetti sauce is a good thing to think about. Morning, noon, and night, think about the spaghetti sauce. Think about hustling other people to buy the spaghetti sauce.

I want to acknowledge luck, the benevolence of it in my life, and the brutality of it in the lives of others.

The only question I ever ask any woman is, 'what time is your husband coming home?'

I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.

I wasn't running toward the theater but running away from the sporting goods store. Of course now that I'm selling spaghetti sauce (with Newman's Own), I begin to understand the romance of business.. the allure of being the biggest fish in the pond and the juice you get from beating out your competitors.

No sense in being a grifter if it's the same as being a citizen.

Admit it. I'm the best you ever seen, Fats. I'm the best there is. And even if you beat me, I'm still the best.