If you don't have enemies, you don't have character.

To be an actor you have to be a child.

There are three rules for running a business; fortunately, we don't know any of them.

Admit it. I'm the best you ever seen, Fats. I'm the best there is. And even if you beat me, I'm still the best.

If you have no enemies, you have no character.

On adultery: "Why fool around with hamburger when you have steak at home?

I don't go for the so-called "intimate" stuff. Column items that report: "Minerva Ferncroft sleeps in pink dusting powder between puce-colored sheets in a heart-shaped bed." It leaves me cold.