When I was about five my dad built a stage for me in our basement. A full stage, with a curtain, a backdrop and a dressing room. There were three colored spotlights - a red one, a white one, and a blue one. Blue was for nighttime scenes, and red was for when we were in hell. If the neighborhood kids wanted to use the stage, they had to incorporate me into the play.

Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don't know any jokes to tell. And when I do they're really flat and don't work.

I would love to be in Kansas.

The original suit was designed by a guy named Mr. Jay from Hollywood. But nowadays I'm having the suit duplicated. At this point I have about three good suits and about three really raggedy ones.

I have a deal with a company that's going to do cards without the gum. I don't like sugarless gum, and I don't think it's much better for you.

I was looking for a last name that was a first name. Growing up, I knew a kid who was the most obnoxious kid I ever knew, and his last name was Herman.

I enjoy getting to be arty and quirky and weird and all the things that I don't have that much choice with. You just sort of use what you got.