I have a deal with a company that's going to do cards without the gum. I don't like sugarless gum, and I don't think it's much better for you.

I have a deal with a company that's going to do cards without the gum. I don't like sugarless gum, and I don't think it's much better for you.

I'm right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn't have been me.

The moment that I realized my name was going to be said in the same sentence as children and sex, that's really intense. That's something I knew from that very moment, whatever happens past that point, something's out there in the air that is really bad.

A large part of the reason I want to be so mysterious is so that I can move on and do something serious at some point in my career X years from now. It might be very difficult otherwise, because I'm... wild

I can be on the Tonight Show, but not with Johnny [Carson]. He uses my name in his monologue all the time.

It's a lot easier to say you're a comic than a performance artist.