I'd love to do a talk show. But I'm too busy for it. It's just too much work.

I can be on the Tonight Show, but not with Johnny [Carson]. He uses my name in his monologue all the time.

I enjoy getting to be arty and quirky and weird and all the things that I don't have that much choice with. You just sort of use what you got.

I don't think Bruce Willis can compete with me. I have a much better voice.

Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don't know any jokes to tell. And when I do they're really flat and don't work.

I was always in disguise. I'd wear masks or weird get-ups so you couldn't recognize me. I was always afraid that if somebody caught on that it was me, I'd never work again.

I've been super lucky in that I've either been in or helped create situations where I do what I want. I'm super lucky. I get to do what I want and create art and make people laugh, and it's really fun.