I just hate that gay role models are supposed to be just like straight people, as if even straight people are like that.

Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials.

Most gay bashers will be wearing what gay people had on four years earlier - only in polyester with a Penney's label.

There is only one blasphemy, and that is the refusal to experience joy.

I was once all by myself in a house on Fire Island. Where I compared the original cast recordings of two different versions of The Wild Party. A helicopter should have descended and taken me away to a gay penal colony. But of course, I was already there.

Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as children.

Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot h'ors d'ourves. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.