You can have diabetes and have a piece of cake. You cannot have diabetes and eat a whole cake.

I will never use a substitute for butter. Margarine is one molecule away from eating plastic.

I is what I is, and I'm not changing.

I'm so glad I'm not a dentist. How many times does someone say, 'Oh, Doc, it felt so good when you were drilling my teeth'? Never. But when you give someone a wonderful cookie, you put a little of yourself in, and you see someone's face light up - that's immediate approval.

Well what I would really like is a bunch of little n***ers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties. You know, in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around. Now, that would be a true Southern wedding wouldn't it? But we can't do that because the media would be on me about that.

I have a lot of secret uses for sour cream, which is the magic ingredient in my mac and cheese. It's an old-timey, Southern version, and the sour cream makes it that much creamier. Oh, it's so good!

On my show I share all these yummy, fattening recipes, but I tell people, in moderation, in moderation. You can have that little piece of pie.