It is important to remember that these are your Declining Years, in which you can jolly well decline to do what you don't feel like doing, unless not doing it would make you feel worse than doing it.

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine.

This is your dividing line, by the way, between child and nonchild - when the first trouble happens that Mama can't fix.

Like a chastity belt, the package tour keeps you out of mischief but a bit restive for wondering what you missed.

You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.

The subject of men and women is absolutely fraught with sex, which is as it should be.