Although it is embarrassing and painful, it is very healing to stop hiding from yourself. It is healing to know all the ways that youโre sneaky, all the ways that you hide out, all the ways that you shut down, deny, close off, criticize people, all your weird little ways. You can know all of that with some sense of humor and kindness. By knowing yourself, youโre coming to know humanness altogether. We are all up against these things. We are all in this together.
Pema ChodronWe insist on being Someone, with a capital S. We get security from defining ourselves as worthless or worthy, superior or inferior. We waste precious time exaggerating or romanticizing or belittling ourselves with a complacent surety that yes, thatโs who we are. We mistake the openness of our beingโthe inherent wonder and surprise of each momentโfor a solid, irrefutable self. Because of this misunderstanding, we suffer.
Pema ChodronWhatever happens in your life, joyful or painful, do not be swept away by reactivity. Be patient with yourself and don't lose your sense of perspective.
Pema ChodronThe sad part is that all we're trying to do is not feel that underlying uneasiness. The sadder part is that we proceed in such a way that the uneasiness only gets worse. The message here is that the only way to ease our pain is to experience it fully. Learn to stay. Learn to stay with uneasiness, learn to stay with the tightening, learn to stay with the itch and urge of shenpa, so that the habitual chain reaction doesn't continue to rule our lives, and the patterns that we consider unhelpful don't keep getting stronger as the days and months and years go by.
Pema Chodron