In tonglen practice, when we see or feel suffering, we โฏbreathe in with the notion of completely feeling it, accepting it, and owning it. Then we breathe out, radiating compassion, lovingkindness, freshness - anything that encourages relaxation and openness.โฏ So you're training in softening, rather than tightening, your heart. In this practice, it's not uncommon to find yourself blocked, because you come face to face with your own fear, resistance, or whatever your personal "stuckness" happens to be at that moment.
Pema ChodronWe can stop thinking that good practice is when itโs smooth and calm, and bad practice is when itโs rough and dark. If we can hold it all in our hearts, then we can make a proper cup of tea.
Pema ChodronOver time, as the thinking mind begins to settle [through the practice of meditation], weโll start to see our patterns and habits far more clearly. Sometimes this can be a painful experience. I canโt overestimate the importance of accepting ourselves exactly as we are right now, not as we wish we were or think we ought to be. By cultivating nonjudgmental openness to ourselves and to whatever arises, to our surprise and delight we will find ourselves genuinely welcoming the never-pin-downable quality of life, experiencing it as a friend, a teacher, and a support, and no longer as an enemy.
Pema Chodron