We give it up and just look directly with compassion and humor at who we are. Then loneliness is no threat and heartache, no punishment.
Pema ChodronHolding on to beliefs limits our experience of life. That doesn't mean that beliefs or ideas or thinking is a problem; the stubborn attitude of having to have things be a particular way, grasping on to our beliefs and thoughts, all these cause the problems. To put it simply, using your belief system this way creates a situation in which you choose to be blind instead of being able to see, to be deaf instead of being able to hear, to be dead rather than alive, asleep rather than awake.
Pema ChodronFeelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that weโre holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel weโd rather collapse and back away. Theyโre like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where weโre stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, itโs with us wherever we are.
Pema Chodron