The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.

Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them.

I saw an advertisement the other day for the secret of life. It said "The secret of life can be yours for twenty-five shillings. Sent to Secret of Life Institute, Willesden." So I wrote away, seemed a good bargain, secret of life, twenty-five shillings. And I got a letter back saying, "If you think you can get the secret of life for twenty-five shillings, you don't deserve to have it. Send fifty shillings for the secret of life."

I am very interested in the Universe - I am specialising in the Universe and all that surrounds it.

I am blind -- but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' . . . I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.