The trouble with treating people as equals is that the first thing you know they may be doing the same thing to you.

I tried to write worse but it was no good; my generalizations came out as before, each more exquisite than the last. I grew discouraged.

Rather than waste precious time arguing, I went up and started serving my "sentence" without delay. It was usually about an hour for epigrams; somewhat longer for a paradox.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

The idea of a Supreme Being who creates a world in which one creature is designed to eat another in order to subsist, and then pass a law saying, "Thou shalt not kill," is so monstrously, immeasurably, bottomlessly absurd that I am at a loss to understand how mankind has entertained or given it house room all this long.

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

Let us hope, I prayed, that a kind Providence will put a speedy end to the acts of God under which we have been laboring.