It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.

How do you expect mankind to be happy in pairs when it is miserable separately?

If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist.

What people believe is a measure of what they suffer.

When I see a paragraph shrinking under my eyes like a strip of bacon in a skillet, I know I'm on the right track.

Are you pro- or anti-macassar?