I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments. Of course they graduate the best -- it's all they'll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country. They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money -- provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don't need it.

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.

Man is vile, I know, but people are wonderful.

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.

Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days till the condition clears up.

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.

Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.