Being sober for so many years is getting interesting.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

The only thing I've ever been interested in teaching anyone in life is cricket.

A victory? What have we won? We've won a rock in the middle of a wasteland, on the shores of a poisoned sea.

Irish women are always carrying water on their heads, and always carrying their husbands home from pubs. Such things are the greatest posture-builders in the world.

I became a professional cricket teacher about 20 years ago. I had a son born to me when I was 50, and I thought, he needs someone to bowl to him.

I woke up one morning to find I was famous. I bought a white Rolls-Royce and drove down Sunset Boulevard, wearing dark specs and a white suit, waving like the Queen Mum.