Ben & Jerry's ice cream will try to make some marijuana ice cream, resulting in thousands of people simultaneously getting and curing ice cream headaches.

I am now gay 'cause I have watched Ronaldo...

A wedding invitation is a gift subpoena.

After Luis Suarez of Uruguay bit an Italian opponent in the shoulder, two things happened. Suarez was thrown out of the rest of the tournament, and the player he bit turned Uruguayan.

Utah is close to becoming the latest state to legalize medical marijuana.But one DEA agent raised the alarm in front of the Utah legislature. He warned them that rabbits might eat the weed. And then what would you have? You'd have a bunch of weed-crazed rabbits running around. They'd run rampant in the state's cornfields and taco orchards.

Our politicians screw up all the time, as we see. But with so many things, we're no longer the world leader in that.

We know that the president [Donald Trump] watches "Saturday Night Live" because he tweets about it. He doesn't like it, but he keeps watching it.