You can't put feathers on a dog and call it a chicken!
Awareness without action is worthless.
There are some sick people in this world.
This is no dress rehearsal.
There is nothing wrong with your marriage if you're dealing with bills and kids and the broken garbage disposal and in-laws and work demands. That's a normal marriage.
Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you're not going to get anywhere.