I have a God-given right to pursue happiness, and happiness to me is killing things, skinning them, plucking them, and then having a good meal. What makes me happy is going out and blowing a duck's head off.

There are two kinds of individuals on Planet Earth who do not have beards - women and youth.

Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas.

If your woman picks your ducks, and she cooks and carries her Bible... now there's the complete package of womanhood.

Carry your Bible and live by it. There's a better chance that you will stay married if that much is true for either one of you - male or female.

Let me tell you something: I salute womanhood worldwide, because women are exceptionally tough for enduring the misery of childbirth. I've cleaned hogs and gutted deer, but in my experience on Earth I've never witnessed such a brutal event.

I have a God-given right to pursue happiness, and happiness to me is killing things, skinning them, plucking them, and then having a good meal. What makes me happy is going out and blowing a duck's head off.