I've been on this earth for sixty-six years, and I've reached a conclusion and it's a fact: women are strange creatures.

It was about 5 years after I was baptized before the pull of sin finally stopped.

Uptown living, you've got to call 911. Where I am, I am 911.

We’re Bible-thumpers who just happened to end up on television. You put in your article that the Robertson family really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let’s get on with it, and everything will turn around.

Many have told me through the years: 'I think I'll take my chances without Jesus.' And I always come back and say, 'So what chance is that?'

We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job. We just love 'em, give 'em the good news about Jesus - whether they're homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort 'em out later, you see what I'm saying?

Women are a lot like ducks-they don’t like mud on their butts.