I have never in my life taken a command into battle and had the slightest desire to come out alive unless I won.

The only good Indians I ever saw were dead.

I don't care a damn for their guns, or you either, sir! What I want is the Southside Railroad!

I have never in my life taken a command into battle and had the slightest desire to come out alive unless I won.

Always make your opponent think you know more than you really know.

Play the gayest tunes in your books, play them loud and keep on playing them, and never mind if a bullet goes through a trombone, or even a trombonist, now and then.

If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.