I like the freedom that comes with lowered expectations.

A personal essay often includes some or a lot of personal confession. That makes the reader feel less lonely in their confusion and darkness.

... I vowed that I would always respect the right of an individual to kill himself. Whether suicide was a moral or immoral act I no longer felt sure, but of the dignity of its intransigence I was convinced.

My other work, teaching, also is satisfying because I can be with people but in controlled circumstances, which aren't as likely to yield the pain of dealing with family.

I imagined a psychic pain growing inside him (myself) that demanded some physical outlet. Suicide must have been his attempt to give Pain a body, a representation, to put it outside himself. A need to convert inner torment into some outward tangible wound that all could see. It was almost as though suicide were a last-ditch effort at exorcism, in which the person sacrificed his life in order that the devil inside might die.

The knowledge that my discriminations are skewed and not always universally desirable doesn't stop me in the least from making them.

I like the freedom that comes with lowered expectations.