In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.

Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.

You should make no effort to try to join society, stay right where you are. Give your name and serial number and wait for society to come to you.

Women have decided to be people, which is a great mistake. Women were nicer than people.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.

The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.

If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.