I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say 'Can I make up?' and he would say 'Oh yes - tinted?', or he would say, 'Oh yes - clotted?'

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.

It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.

Other-cheekism is not only a way of purifying the soul, it is also part of every weak person's survival kit.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.