If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.

I have known female whores who spoke very bitterly of their calling. "If they don't like my face, they can put a cushion over it. I know it's not that they're interested in." But to the boys this profession never seemed shameful. It was their daytime occupations for which they felt the need to apologize. In some instances, these were lower class or humdrum or, worst of all, unfeminine. At least whoring was never that.

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

You can't be a person and a lady. If you're a person, you can open the damned door yourself.

Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.

You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.

The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it