The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.

Nowadays people don't use face powder; they say it dries the skin. But I makeup in the old-fashioned way.

If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.

England is very dreary, but I'm a people person.

The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.