I asked a girl who came from America to England, when I was only English, and she admitted she had been to a drama school. And I said, "What did they teach you?" And she said, "They taught me to be a candle burning in an empty room." I'm happy to say she was laughing while she said it, but she meant it. I've never learned to be a candle burning in an empty room. So I go on the screen, and I say whatever I'm told to say.

It may be true that artists adopt a flamboyant appearance, but it's also true that people who look funny get stuck with the arts.

Muddled syntax is the outward and audible sign of confused minds, and the misuse of grammar the result of illogical thinking.

I was beaten up wherever I went, and people shouted at me and cursed me and threw things at me.

My function in life was to render clear what was already blindingly conspicuous.

I am the last of Britain's stately homos.

In fact I try to spend at least one, if not two days without ever leaving my room. Because if I didn't, when would I recharge my batteries?