I would use sport as an escape from the pain of what was real. Instead of dealing with the pain, instead of being honest about the pain, instead of asking for help - if I had to do it differently, I would do it differently in that regard.

It's a pitch you can extend your career with because it's less taxing on your body. It's like dog years, but in reverse. I feel like I'm 27 or 26 in knuckleball years!

There's been this steady metamorphosis from just surviving to being a craftsman and, ultimately, the hope is to be an artist in what you do.?

I don't really feel much more confident than I did the last couple years. I've always felt like I have a pretty good knuckleball. I worked hard to do that.?

Out of sheer stubbornness, I just would keep going - just hoping that at some point something would click. I certainly held onto the hope that it might. I had no guarantees, but I trusted that if I worked hard and put in the time, it would eventually reap a fruit. I just didn't know what that fruit was going to be or how big it was going to be.

I would use sport as an escape from the pain of what was real. Instead of dealing with the pain, instead of being honest about the pain, instead of asking for help - if I had to do it differently, I would do it differently in that regard.

I've worked for everything I've ever got and it's worked out. Even if I was the Cy Young Award winner I still would not want to feel that sense of entitlement. I would still treat every game like it's my very first game and my very last game.