The #‎ knuckleball can be a metaphor of what it's like to let go.

I would use sport as an escape from the pain of what was real. Instead of dealing with the pain, instead of being honest about the pain, instead of asking for help - if I had to do it differently, I would do it differently in that regard.

When you start a game, you don't think to yourself, "well, OK, I'm going throw a one-hitter today." It just becomes an organism, your outing becomes an organism and it grows.

I don't really feel much more confident than I did the last couple years. I've always felt like I have a pretty good knuckleball. I worked hard to do that.?

The #‎ knuckleball can be a metaphor of what it's like to let go.

Who doesn’t want a Cy Young Award? What kid didn’t grow up wanting to be the best? I’m no different. I want to be the best. I’ve always wanted to be the best.

Out of sheer stubbornness, I just would keep going - just hoping that at some point something would click. I certainly held onto the hope that it might. I had no guarantees, but I trusted that if I worked hard and put in the time, it would eventually reap a fruit. I just didn't know what that fruit was going to be or how big it was going to be.