I've killed hundreds of teenagers. Hundreds. And I didn't know why. Why did I enjoy doing it so much? Why? And then I realized - I had a teenager at home!

Well, I hate it when authors come into a school and they say to kids, 'Write from your heart, only write what you know, and write from your heart.' I hate that because it's useless. I've written over 300 books - not one was written from my heart. Not one. They were all written for an audience, they were all written to entertain a certain audience.

I've had a very sheltered life. What can happen to you if you stay home writing all day?

If you do enough planning before you start to write, there's no way you can have writer's block. I do a complete chapter by chapter outline.

I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.

Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special.

Sometimes it helps to scold yourself, to give yourself advice.