Good food and a warm kitchen are what makes a house a home.

You know, food is such - it's a hug for people.

I don't have to write jokes. I don't have to write insults. If you ask the man of the hour in the hot seat, my mere existence is clearly insult enough.

When you're out grocery shopping for your family, maybe you can put a can of cat or dog food in your cart and bring it to an animal relief center.

I'm completely unqualified for any job I've ever had.

Whatever it is you want to do, take a job in that field. You will learn by experience and, slow and steady, you'll get it done!

You don't feel as self-conscious if your clothes fit.