I walked inside Macy’s and faced the pathetic spectacle of a department store full of shoppers, none of whom were shopping for themselves. Without the instant gratification of a self-aimed purchase, everyone walked around in the tactical stupor of the financially obligated.

It's a total lie to say there's only one person you're going to be with for the rest of your life. If you're lucky - and if you try really hard - there will always be more than one.

There. I've said everything I wanted to say without actually having to use the words "please stay

I can be a badass DJ when I want, but I am also an insufferable music snob.

The universe doesn't decide what's right or not right. You do.

No one would want to read a book in which I explain the science of cloning because it would be very dull and it would also make no sense.

Drosophila,” I said, remembering the word. “What?” Lily asked. “Why do girls always fall for guys with the at ention span of drosophila?” “What?” “Fruit flies. Guys with the attention span of fruit flies.” “Because they’re hot?” “This,” I told her, “is not the time for being truthful.