STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal 1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk) 2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness) 1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture) 1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color) 1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity) Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature Use liberally as needed Makes 4 to 5 cups

In spite of her cute little angelic face and pink sneakers, Brianna is actually a baby Tyrannosaurus rex. On STEROIDS!

BTW, the roach's name is Max (courtesy of Brianna, "because of I had a puppy, I'd name him Max").

So many FREAKS and not enough CIRCUSES!

Let your inner DORK shine through.

Better late than never."-Dork Diaries

Dream big dreams,because little dreams have no magic.~Dork Diaries