I can understand; you are really in a mess and there is no way out. I have heard that there are three rings of love: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer-ring.
RajneeshIt is beautiful to be alone, it is also beautiful to to be in love, to be with people. And they are complementary, not contradictory.
RajneeshSo your life becomes a vital celebration, your relationship becomes a festive thing. Whatsoever you do, every moment is a festival. You eat, and eating becomes a celebration; you take a bath, and bathing becomes a celebration; you talk, and talking becomes a celebration; relationship becomes a celebration. Your outer life becomes festive, there is no sadness in it. How can sadness exist with silence?
RajneeshWhatever you are doing, if there is contentment and a feeling that this whole existence is nothing but the manifestation of godliness, that we are traveling on holy earth, that whomever you are meeting, you are meeting God - there is no other way; only faces are different, but the inner reality is the same - all your tensions will disappear. And the energy that is involved in tensions will start becoming your grace, your beauty.
Rajneesh