The more you put in your brain, the more it will hold - if you have one.

The requisitions of the income tax have added greatly to the attractions of mercenary crime.

A character who is thought-out is not born, he or she is contrived. A born character is round, a thought-out character is flat.

I don't approve of open fires. You can't think, or talk or even make love in front of a fireplace. All you can do is stare at it.

I understand the technique of eccentricity; it would be futile for a man to labor at establishing a reputation for oddity if he were ready at the slightest provocation to revert to normal action.

The trouble with an alarm clock is that what seems sensible when you set it seems absurd when it goes off

God made you and me, in certain respects, quite unequal, and it would be futile to try any interference with His arrangements.