Purpose directs passion and passion ignites purpose.
Each moment is a moment of choice and your commitments keep you true to yourself, choice by choice.
When your commitment is to be loving regardless of the circumstances, there is no room for harsh words. You assert yourself not from a desire to control but from a desire to stand for who you are.
The first is based in fear, the second in fearlessness.
Fear is an affirmation of your growth.
Listen to others as if they are telling you the truth, ask questions when you aren't clear, and allow others the room to have different feelings than you. No more assigning hidden motives, prejudging and cutting people off before separating fact from fiction.