And I like pygmy goats, because they're just lovely, and ducks.

I like to think that my arrogance, impetuosity, impatience, selfishness and greed are the qualities that make me the lovable chap I am.

Ask any Ferrari, Porsche or Ray-Ban salesperson about their average customer and you will very likely hear that he is not, as the adverts would have us believe, a virile young footballer with shiny hair, a rippling six pack and a trouser pouch like a new punch bag. He is, in fact, a middle-aged bloke wearing more chins than he started life with and carrying the clear evidence of forty years of beer and pies slung across his midriff.

I do not see how hanging litter louts up by their heels and beating them with sticks could be considered a crime.

I've been in a car three or four times when it filled with water and it's not a comfortable feeling.

Mothers will be fishing kids out of obscure cubby-holes for years!

I run a lot. I have this five-mile run that I try and do a few times a week. If I do more, I get shin splints and it drives me mad, so I have to balance it.