I was born with a crippled leg. I wore a corrective shoes since I was three years old and I still wear them.

Therell always be some weird thing about eating four grapes before you go to bed, or drinking a special tea, or buying this little bean from El Salvador.

Puberty for me was graduating from Thousand Island salad dressing to Caesar salads. It was like going from hot dogs and hamburgers to beef stroganoff, or from ice cream in a cone to creme brulee.

When the king gets depressed, he doesn't call for his wife. He doesn't call for the cook. He calls for the court jester.

When I lost my weight, I went and bought about 15 different types of underwear to see what would look good on my new body. It's exciting!

I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.

I do consider myself a clown and a court jester, and I do love to make people laugh, whether they're laughing with me or at me.