Escape plan number seventeen," I told her. "Run away and open a juice stand in Fresno." "Why Fresno?" "Sounds like the kind of place people drink a lot of juice.

She felt so much emotionally, she would say, that a physical outlet - physical pain - was the only way to make her internal pain go away. It was the only way she could control it.

Now get some clothes on before the women around here are driven into a frenzy." He gave me a mournful look. "I'm afraid that'll happen with or without clothes, my dear.

Day 24. Situation is growing worse. My captors continue to find new and horrific ways to torture me. When not working, Agent Scarlet spends her days examining fabric swatches for bridesmaid dresses and going on about how in love she is. This usually causes Agent Boring Borscht to regale us with stories of Russian weddings that are even more boring than his usual ones. My attempts at escape have been thwarted thus far. Also, I am out of cigarettes. Any assistance or tobacco products you can send will be greatly appreciated. -Prisoner 24601

I opened my eyes and met his dark, earnest gaze. "It's okay," I said. "It's okay now. I'm here I'll always be here for you.

You managed to get him a duster, but you couldn't find me a pair of jeans?

I can be a good friend, or a bad enemy.