The problem with relying on nostalgia for commentary is that people only remember the good things.

Media were never allowed into an Australian dressing room until I became skipper. I changed that and invited them in at the close of play each day, thereby confirming for many administrators they had appointed a madman as captain.

A cricket ground is a flat piece of earth with some buildings around it.

When a cricketer gets hit in the private parts, he hopes the pain will go away very soon but the swelling doesn't!

Gatting at fine leg - that's a contradiction in terms.

The only thing that really annoys me is when all of a sudden you hear yourself on the radio advertising Smith's tyre shop or Blenkinsop's jam. They simply can't do that. And in Australia, occasionally I have to take action.

From our broadcasting box you can't see any grass at all. It is simply a carpet of humanity.