CHILDHOOD: The rapidly shrinking interval between infancy and first arrest on a drug or weapons charge.

We're still just the world's premium brand of ape.

True individualists are always at odds with the universe. Set adrift by their peculiar tastes and interests, they spend their lives searching for kindred spirits and a compatible mate. They are hopelessly out of step with the business world and its trivial urgencies. Their priorities are not the priorities of their neighbors. They are unique; therefore they are alone.

Math anxiety: an intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 MPH.

POWER: The ability to make our fellow humans squirm, sweat and stammer on command. Often regarded as an aphrodisiac; actually a potent laxative that, whenever ingested by people in high places, causes everyone below to run for cover.

Corporation: a miniature totalitarian state governed by a hierarchy of unelected officials who take a dim view of individualism, free speech, equality and eggheads. The backbone of all Western democracies.

Most people perceive moderates as timid, middle-of-the-roaders, who can't take a stand.