Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty

We're still just the world's premium brand of ape.

Golf is the art of driving hard, avoiding the rough, surmounting traps and hazards, aiming straight, and arriving on the green at last, only to end up in a hole in the ground before your companions. The favored pastime of businessmen and their cronies, probably without a full appreciation of its metaphorical implications.

Cynic: an idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his vision

CHILDHOOD: The rapidly shrinking interval between infancy and first arrest on a drug or weapons charge.

POWER: The ability to make our fellow humans squirm, sweat and stammer on command. Often regarded as an aphrodisiac; actually a potent laxative that, whenever ingested by people in high places, causes everyone below to run for cover.

The world belongs to people with IQs of 120. Anything much greater or less amounts to a liability.