Most people call it The Book of the Dead,” he told me. “Rich Egyptians were always buried with a copy, so they could have directions through the Duat to the Land of the Dead. It’s like an Idiot’s Guide to the Afterlife.

The next microsecond, as the water erupted around me, I realized too late that I should've brought the entire Twenty-first Nome to help me.

Oh no." I said panic rising in my chest. "No, no, no, Somebody get a can opener. I've got a god in my head!!

Patterns repeat themselves in history

If I couldn't trust her, I couldn't trust anyone.

That's it, cupcake. You're going down.

Even from far away, I could see people being chased by hellhounds, burned at the stake, forced to run naked through cactus patches or listen to opera music.