Bast crouched down and began making weird chittering noises. Uh-oh. She was imitating birds. I'd seen enough cats do this when they were stalking. Suddenly my own obituary flashed in my head: Carter Kane, 14, tragically died in Paris wen he was eaten by his sister's cat, Muffin.

Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards.

Poseidon’s trident was also all over the place, since Peter the Great wanted to stress Russia’s sea power. I especially like the trident on top of an obelisk -- what a great Egyptian/Greek mix up!

I will deny I ever said this, of course, but the gods need heroes. They always have. Otherwise we would not keep you annoying little brats around." I feel so wanted. Thanks.

A ruby-encrusted orb popped its top and helicopter blades unfolded. Leo was glad Buford the table wasn't here-he would've fallen in love.

You mean a bad heel?" I said. "Couldn't I just, like, wear something besides sandals? No offense." -Percy

Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints.