The prime function of the children's book writer is to write a book that is so absorbing, exciting, funny, fast and beautiful that the child will fall in love with it. And that first love affair between the young child and the young book will lead hopefully to other loves for other books and when that happens the battle is probably won. The child will have found a crock of gold. He will also have gained something that will help to carry him most marvelously through the tangles of his later years. Roald Dahl

Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have been capable of doing so.

There's nothin' you can get from a book that you can't get from a television fastah!" -Harry Wormwood

A Message to Children Who Have Read This Book - When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important: a stodgy parent is no fun at all. What a child wants and deserves is a parent who is SPARKY.

You ignorant little slug!" the Trunchbull bellowed. "You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue!

Some children are spoiled and it is not their fault, it is their parents.

And don’t worry about the bits you can’t understand. Sit back and allow the words to wash around you, like music.